Saturday, August 13, 2011

The (J.J.) Grey area between good and bad

I had picked up my guitar. I had a total of two guitars, two cases, a gig bag, three harmonicas, a harmonica microphone and a 50-pound amp in the car. My next stop would be the concert, but first I would have to get back to Kansas City.

The GPS on my phone told me to take I-70 east, but it didn't tell me that it was a turnpike that took a toll. I'm not one to carry cash on me, so naturally, when I came to the toll plaza, I had to execute a perfect 180 complete with screeching tires and roaring engines, Burnout style (pretty much the same way I do everything, honestly). I was debating whether to take Route 10, the same way I came, which was free but added fifteen miles and thirty minutes, or to man up and pay the $1.60. In the end, the decision came down to the fact that I liked the font on the street signs used in Lawrence, and I wanted to support the Kansas DOT and encourage them to keep up the good typography work. And that's pretty much the definition of civic responsibility.
Just doing my part.

So I drove back to the music store and suggested a convoluted method by which I could take $5 out of my checking account through a series of purchases and returns, but it proved to be too complicated and possibly illegal. But they suggested going down the street to the grocery store to buy something cheap and get cash back. It felt like a cop-out, but I reluctantly agreed.

I bought a nectarine and got $20 in cash (the smallest cash back amount) which was a little overkill for the toll, but served its purpose. At the moment, I have $18 in cash still sitting on my table. I think it might be a problem that I have no idea what to do with cash when I have it. Usually I just end up blowing it on cockfights and cigars, but I'm trying to curb my gambling and smoking addiction. I swear.

The first Google image result for "cockfights and cigars."

So I get back to Kansas City, and go to the address of Hailey Lauren, the wonderful girl I met through Couchsurfing who let me sleep in her house for the night for free. If you're keeping score at home, the total I've spent so far on lodging is $0.00 (or €0,00 for Eurozone readers). Hailey's house was very similar to Stephanie's, in that it looked like it was taller than it was wide. And I believe it was blueish in color, but the only picture I got of it was, for some reason, color-false. Perhaps because my camera malfunctioned for a second, but I'm gonna say it was because the house was haunted. 
Hayley is super nice. She's the one on the left, I believe.

Her house as seen through a malfunctioning camera WHICH IS HAUNTED.

I could only stay for a few minutes before I had to hurry downtown to the concert. It took place at a venue that pretty much just boiled down to a hollowed-out city block surrounded by old brick buildings. The whole thing had a very slight redneck tinge to it, but I'm not complaining - the opening act was reason enough to go.

Here's the venue. The concert was actually inside the city block on the left side of the picture.

So, according to the ticket, the performing acts were J.J. Grey and Mofo, and Jonny Lang. But to be honest, the only reason to actually go there was the opener. Sure, I'd heard a lot about Jonny Lang that day, so naturally, I was expecting some kind of show. But I've been a fan of Mofro for some time now, and hearing all these other people not even BOTHER to mention them when talking about the concert kind of pissed me a little bit off. After all, Mofro was, in my opinion, one of the best bands in existence, and I'd never even heard of Jonny Lang. Later, I learned he had won some Grammy awards, and had been featured on the most recent albums by Santana, Eric Clapton and Lenny Kravitz. But compared to Mofro? This guy was nothing.

Jonny Lang and J.J. Grey & Mofro? More like ONLY MOFRO.

The interior of the venue (I say "interior" instead of "inside" because it's outdoors) was just a rectangle covered in wood chips. It was surrounded by the backs of dozens of restaurants, all of whom catered to those inside the concert. The show was supposed to start at 7:00, which is when I showed up (what a loser!), but it instead started closer to 8. Which gave me plenty of time to stand guard at my spot at the very front center spot of the crowd.

Doing what I do best: chillin' in a crowd with a goofy smile.

So the concert got started, and it got started CORRECTLY. They began with Hide and Seek, and the set included such fantastic songs as Everything Good is Bad and Orange Blossoms. It was one of the best concerts I've ever been to - if not only for the music, also for the fact that quite literally EVERYTHING these guys do is cool. Seriously. Everything that is said by them on stage is cool. J.J. Grey could have had chronic acid reflux, thrown up a little bit in his mouth, forgotten about it, and opened his mouth to sing only to have the bile and saliva mixture dribble lazily down his shirt, and it would have been AWESOME. He could have 26,000 square miles of land from Mexico for $244 billion just to have a little bit of land to build a railroad on, and it would have been the coolest thing ever.

The Gadsden Purchase: Lame when the government does it, awesome when J.J. Grey does it.

He even broke a tambourine during the concert. He threw it into the audience, and  jumped up to catch it, and it was right in my hand, but then it bounced out and the girl next to me got it! I'm not bitter, but it would have been cool to get that. After they finished their set, some of the folks around me went away and were replaced by other, more annoying folks. They kept informing me of how wonderful and great Jonny Lang is - one of them even told me that he was the only reason to come to the concert (in other words, screw Mofro). I stayed for a few songs, but left after realizing that a) he was adding a whole lot of fake emotion to his performance and b) the people around me didn't like each other, and it seemed like a fight was about to start.

So I got out of there. And let me tell you, it's very difficult to feel any cooler than when you walk out into a dimly-lit alley with live blues/rock music playing in the background. 

Much cooler than you, James Gadsden.

In conclusion, keep your overrated Jonny Lang - I'll be a Mofro fan for life.

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